Liquor in the front, poker in the inventory

It is the third week of November, and I'm sure that many of you are preparing to be joined at the table by loved ones to share some of the season's most precious, jubilant, and sometimes aggravating moments.

What was that? Oh. No, actually, I'd nearly forgotten about Thanksgiving. I'm talking about Steam's five-buck crossover collage, Poker Night At The Inventory. I'm almost certain that if you're reading this, the game most likely needs no introduction. Though for those unwitting dark age architecture enthusiasts whose search terms may have mislead you into our geeky abode, I'll make it quick. Poker Night is, as it sounds, a video poker game featuring internet and computer game pop culture legends Max (from Tell Tale Games' Sam and Max series), Tycho Brahe (of webcomic Penny-Arcade fame), Strong Bad (from Homestar Runner Flash cartoons) and Heavy Weapons Guy (from Valve's own Team Fortress 2).

If you're paying attention, you may also enjoy some of the
face card artwork. Of course, unlike me, you may be too
busy winning to notice.

While others had been eager to hear newly recorded voice acting from these characters, I myself observed the anticipation quietly from the sidelines. As obsessed I may have been with Strong Bad and Penny-Arcade quotables in high school, I'm no good at card games nor am I as involved with Steam Powered gaming as some of my fellow NAC pals are. Not being a gambling man, I tend to arbitrarily go all in when it comes to virtual card games where there is no real value to be lost. In the real world? My frugality is far too tenacious a trait. I've managed to drag myself out to a card table once in my life, only to walk away $2 ahead in fear of actually parting with any of my hard earned cash.

However, with Poker Night At The Inventory being a poker game dressed with relatable entertainment, I figured I'd throw down a Lincoln to have a taste. My initial reaction was, 'well, it's poker.' The club host announced some familiar-sounding hands whose meanings and hierarchies I've never really understood, and I found myself drawing the short straw every time -- but only after one of my opponent's victory taunts cued me to realize defeat.

Max is definitely the most animated of the four.

I did find myself enjoying some of the lengthier exchanges between characters, and not unlike my younger self who gushed over Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue in kindergarten, I was hypnotized by the prospect of these familiar characters hanging out somewhere beyond the fourth wall.

Mr. Brahe and Mr. Weaponsguy, getting to know one another. 

After I'd lost enough tournaments, I decided to go ahead and watch the rest of each subsequent lost tournament play out. A fun feature, as it lets you observe some of the artificially intelligent behavior of your opponents, as well as mindlessly tune in to more character banter. This game mode plays out like an ESPN-style poker tournament broadcast, complete with table cams and all. I did reach a point where -- perhaps because I hadn't progressed at all as a player -- I was hearing a lot of the same lines over and over again. This in of itself is a fair incentive to keep at it.

My favorite Poker Night quote to date.

Another spiff that kept me at the table were the random opportunities to win Team Fortress 2 items by causing one of the opposing characters to bust. While I hadn't managed to take advantage of these rare moments, it did have me beaming a glassy eyed gaze of envy while I stupidly clicked my way to defeat.

I can't say that I was entirely impressed with how the game ran on my rig. I run a Core 2 Duo P8700, 4 gigs of ram and an NVIDIA GeForce 260 GTX under the hood, and even at a lower than native resolution I was experiencing some curious frame rate loss and hangups. I know my system isn't cutting edge, but I'd find it hard to believe that it was completely obsolete to the point where it'd joke on something as trifling as a poker game. God, I hope it's not due for an upgrade already.

What was actually more baffling was the absence of multiplayer. Now, I know that Tell Tale and Valve may want to push the envelope a little later in the game's life, and perhaps implement some sort of ingame item betting system like they introduced new Mannconomy from Team Fortress 2; but with a game as social as poker sitting on a community wire as robust as Steam's, I'd expect a little more than the single player venture.

"Time to fight like BIG man! All In!"

None of this severely undermines the game's fun delivery of entertaining dialog, which in fact dulls the pain of loss in even the sorest of losers. The presentation itself is worth the five dollars, and the available prizes do their part in keeping Poker Night At The Invetory from being a frustrating waste of time. Though for now, I may hang on to my chips more often than not in hopes of losing shamelessly in the company of friends.

*Like a jackal with the taste of blood in its mouth, editor-at-large Heartburn's got himself an insatiable hunger to write after this week's PANIC ROOM. If you think I'm just being sore for sucking so badly at cards (and you're probably right!), take a gander at Heartburn's second opinion on the game: 

Second Opinion: I've been playing this since it was released (yesterday) and I am having alot of fun with it. I havent been winning very much, but Im somewhat of a closet poker fan so I have fun regardless. I dont miss multiplayer as Matt does, that niche is filled by online poker sites (and meeting face-to-face). The atmosphere is enchanting and the banter is entertaining. The Heavy mentioned the Iron Sheik at one point. I was a happy man.